WHAT'S ON THE MORSEL MENU?

I have a tremendous weakness for CAUSE & EFFECT, R&D (research & design), and Safeway Select Black Cherry Choco-Chip Frozen Yogurt.

Since nobody can help me with the latter, let's look at the former... For as long as I can remember I've found myself compelled to act on compulsion and pursue solutions to some of the screwiest self-inspired projects, problems, predicaments, and other alliterations. When it seems as if I'm staring off into space, I'm actually assembling images up on my internal AUTOCAD screen. I'm an itinerant tinkerer. I've gotta monkey with stuff. I have to reverse-engineer the mysterious mechanisms I encounter. That goes double for LORD MICROPHONE. Got a "WHAT IF I DID THIS?" wish or a mic problem gnawing at your logical core? I want to know about it! SEND IT IN!!! Extra credit will be awarded for the greatest degrees of creativity and absurdity. That gives me an idea...